Manipulation can come from someone you love, and the scariest part is that you may not even be aware of it. It may feel like sweet affection and won’t blatantly appear as controlling. More than control, it sometimes comes across as concern, subtle and gentle. But that concern has the ominous power to control you and your thoughts, feelings and decisions. When you get emotionally manipulated, you start to second-guess your own feelings and prioritise your partner's thoughts, treating them as the last word in every situation to keep them comfortable while compromising yourself.

If you have got your head in the sand like an ostrich as you endure the hot-and-cold emotional rollercoaster, it’s time to figure out what’s right and what’s not.

Relationship coach Jon Dabach took to Instagram on May 1 to share five signs of emotional manipulation.

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A post shared by Jon Dabach, PhD | Relationship Coach (@communicationjon)

1. They make you doubt reality

If they constantly rewrite events or twist your words, that’s gaslighting, and it’s designed to break your confidence.

2. They use guilt to control you

If saying “no” makes you feel like the villain, they’re not being vulnerable, they’re weaponising your empathy.

3. They shift the blame

Something goes wrong? Somehow, it’s always your fault, even when it clearly isn’t.

4. They withdraw to punish you

Instead of resolving conflict, they go cold. No affection. No words. Just silence is designed to make you chase them.

5. They flip the script when confronted

You bring up an issue, suddenly you’re the one apologising. They dodge accountability by turning the mirror on you.

A partner who emotionally blackmails has the upper hand on your emotions. They make your self-confidence plummet and leave you deeply questioning yourself. Whether it’s gaslighting or playing the classic victim card, you fall into a vicious cycle. Since they have drained you of your self-worth, you crave validation from them, looking for reassurance or guidance. With emotional manipulation, your partner traps you in a cycle of dependency.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.

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